Can you describe the alleged yarn?

(enter courtroom which looks remarkably like a therapy center)

The defendant is being sworn in “Do you swear to tell the truth…”

the defendant (AKA me) “are you kidding me?”

In walks the persecutor AKA Evil Theresa who thinks it’s funny to torture afflicted knitters with terrible ribbon yarn and lovely needles.  She fairly oozes evil and also has the annoying ability to wear the perfect shade of red lipstick w/o it bleeding onto her teeth.

“How’s the scarf coming.?” Dead silence.

“”I’m sorry, what scarf would that be?”

Theresa has scented blood now, the victim has revolted. “The lovely ribbon yarn one with the holes designed to rob you of the few faculties you have left after your daughter spent three weeks being a chicken, a frog, and then a gorilla in succession.”

“I recall no yarn.” And it’s true. I do however,  recall in that vague post traumatic stress way, possibly cursing the air blue, and then ripping a stupid and vexing bit of ribbon into shreds and then feeding the evidence uh remains down the garbage disposal. There might have been some wine and copious amounts of chocolate involved. I’m not sure, since I’m pretty sure it was all a bad dream. Because, I certainly do not recall a ribbon yarn scarf I was supposed to be making.

 

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “Can you describe the alleged yarn?

  1. Funny that, I picked up some nice looking shiny thick yarn the other day from a few bags I’d been given, I was wondering what I could use it for when I realised it was that ribbon stuff….what can you do with it, other than scarves?

  2. I did just see a super cute baby skirt made out of ribbon yarn on pinterest. Livy would go crazy for it. I’m not sure if I can bring myself to try it though.

  3. Ruth

    Oh I’m not sure if I’m liking the sound of ribbon yarn, I don’t think I could try it at all, but what a really funny story, thanks it was a treat to read.

  4. What a wonderful, funny post..I have never even dared ribbon yarn!

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